#2. The Urban Curator

"Welcome to my office..."

cxcv) Filters.

Dammit when will I learn that sunrays don't show up on compact cameras???

lxxxi) Lunchtime.

Don't you just hate it when your brain and your body just don't get along??

#361: People. Urgh.

If I can go through life without having to walk through another Bank Holiday Sale again.

I will call that a win.

...though I have a feeling this one aspiration is gonna end in tears.

#339: You Big Meteorological Tease.

Gargh!

Where's all the snow gone?

What happened to my white Christmas?!

Humbugs!

#337: Oldies But Goodies.

How is it that both my 7yr old laptop and 10yr old desktop PC are still both able to chug along with nary a grumble...

But my 1yr old netbook is the one that decides to shutdown down with a bunch of bad sectors on it's hard drive total hard disk failure???

#334: For The Greater Good.

Parents!

If you absolutely must bring a baby into the economy section of a packed overnight long-haul flight...

Do your part for World Peace;

Give the baby a tranquiliser.




Seriously, 290 people mentally wishing, "Shut Up. Shut Up. Shut Up..." upon one lil kid is gonna end up stunting it's growth or something.

#330: Chemical Warfare.

Seriously, who the hell gets on an 11hr flight smelling like a mix of sweaty socks and highly concentrate urine?

The guy sitting in seat 55H, that's who.

I'm 55K, aka the poor sod sitting next to this aromatic wonder.

(I don't know what happened to columns I and J, this plane just decided not to have them.)

Now I don't know if any of you have noticed, but it's almost impossible to spread a fart in a jumbo jet. One of the few places in the world where this is the case. The air conditioning is just too damn powerful.

So I guffed in his face everytime I got up to get out.

#314: Filled With Delicious Goodness.

One of the things I was looking forward to on arriving back in the UK was to spend a few days veggying out in front of the TV and catch up on my shows.

Shouldn't be too hard - being jobless and pennyless (relatively speaking) kinda ensures that I'd be staying in one place and being a good boy.

Yet somehow, things just always turn up. Laundry to be done, shelves to be built, dishes to be washed, lofts to be organised, rooms to be renovated.

I've become such a master procrastinator that I'm now procrastinating on my procrastination... (O_o)

#298: Uh Oh...

What are you supposed to do when the freaking lightbulb is leaking water from the ceiling?!

Do I call the plumber or the electrician?

#286: Hawkmen! Everywhere!

A tip for all you street-selling hawkers of fine crap to foreign tourists everywhere - try a lil schmoozing before shoving your crap in the potential customer's faces.

Thrusting your wares back and forth while shouting, "I'll give you a low low price! Really cheap!" is surprisingly a lot less likely to work than, "Your eyes are like fire, dancing with my desire, would you like to buy my beads on a wire?"

Even if you've only got a 5second window - build that relationship, then sell that crap. Live the dream.

#281: Green

I don't get jealous. In my brain it's a pointless emotion.

But I do experience envy. Anytime I see another person driving a Lupo GTi, for instance, I feel a lil tinge.

My biggest source of contention though, is anytime I see a person truly in love with their job - like they've really found that which they were born to do...

I think, "I want that! Why not meeeeee?!"

I'm not alone in this wish, I recognise. But for some reason, my life seems to be just surrounded by people living the dream!

Gargghh! They mock me with their job satisfaction!

=P

#277: Backup Plans.

I've had as many different incentives of job opportunities available to me as the number of days that I've been in HK so far...

Nice to know that I have options.

If only I'd actually wanted to live in HK. (=.=)

#257: Mental Rider.

Crap, just did the maths on the days I have to be in town in order to finish up last-minute-leaving-the-country stuff and the amount of time I actually have left in the country.

There just isn't any time in between all the paperwork, moving palava and tax forms for me to get an extended leave to get my round-Taiwan roadtrip in.

Guess I'll just do a speed run - ride down and touch the tip of Kenting, and back in 3days.

#250: Oh, To Be Wonky Again.

For my final week, I'm suddenly finding myself covering kindergarten classes in a school way way waaaaay on the other side of town. Despite the length of time I've worked as an English teacher, I've actually never done a proper kindy schedule before (8:45am-4pm days as opposed to 1pm-9:30pm days).

On the one hand, I'm thankful for the extra hours, the challenge and fun of actually learning something new again - and the fact that these tiny lil geniuses are freaking amazingly cheery blighters!

On the other hand though... having to wake up at 7am everyday is really kicking my arse.

A regular human bean might say that is not exactly excessive, some might go as far as to say that it's actually what normal people have to do everyday of their lives. Quite naturally and happily... well maybe not all quite so happily.

But, whoever said I was built to be regular?? (O_o)

3more days... I can hang on for 3...more...days...

#212: The Long Way Round.

Our hotel was only supposed to be a five minute walk from the bowling alley. Made one wrong turn the block before we got there and we ended up on a one hour hike around the harbour area of Tokyo. Normally not a bad walk, but probably not best appreciated in a hot and muggy 1am stagger.

Apart from that it was a good reminder of one aspect of Japan that I'd forgotten - plan ahead, coz it takes bloody ages to get anywhere!

Man, Taiwan's tichyness has spoiled me.

#198: Impulse Control. Again.

There are 12 episodes in the first season of Warehouse 13.

I figured that would make a nice lil introductory marathon run for my 13hr flight home.

Was quite looking forward to it too since I'd never seen it before and I've read it makes a nice complement to Eureka, which I also like alot.

Only problem is, I got the season on Wednesday.

Three days is just too long for a bunch of unwatched tv to be sitting on my computer.

(>.<)

What am I gonna do now?

Read?!

#189: Fuzzy Tangentials.

Reading back my post from yesterday, I'm noticing that I pretty much missed the point entirely on what I originally intending to say. Nnnggghh.

Evidently I've still got some way to go in figuring out that dang translational conversion between the concepts and ideas that are so clear my head, into words and sentences that regular humans might understand... (¬_¬)

#151: Grumble Pie.

Everybody needs a good whinge every now and then, the cathartic effect is obvious and often much needed. As the people around me (and especially the various managers I've had over the years... =) will know very well - I'll bitch and moan with the best of them, it's in our very nature!

The difference between the occasional grouch and an insufferable old fart, however, is the step taken after the gripe. All that energy that went into the wail has got to lead somewhere, otherwise it's just a useless load of noise.
For example, don't like your job? Quit.
Can't quit? Take steps to make your job better.
Don't like your family? Move out.
Can't move out? Make peace.
Can't make peace? Run away.
Don't like your relationship? End it.
Can't end it? Stop being a wimp.
Don't like your life? Change it.
Can't change it? You're not trying hard enough.
Think you're already trying as hard as you can? Try harder.

If you're grumbling then it's coz you're not happy about something.
If you're not happy about something then there's always something you can do, without fail.

I absolutely refuse to believe that there is ever no choice. It's all down to what you're willing to accept to make those choices available. If you don't/can't/won't take the steps to open new doors - then you only get to complain about the same thing to the same person three times. After that you're gonna have to find somebody new to yammer to, coz unless you've shown that you're actually trying to course-correct - that first person will have stopped listening after the second time. What do you expect them to do? You can't help someone who's unwilling to help themselves.

Hungry? Go make a sandwich.
Don't know how to make a sandwich? Learn.

Oooh... the view is quite nice from way up here. Door's always open. =D

#131: Those Fricken Buses.

It always amuses me - that cosmic joke that is how whenever anything worth doing happens, it always occurs at the same time as ten other events worth doing too.

Never fails!

My "Both! Always take both!" philosophy falters at this point until we perfect quantum entanglement/replicator shared consciousness technology.

Yup.