Wednesday, 25 August 2010

#237: I May Not Know Much About This World, But What I Do Know; I Know Well.

The tube top is a beautiful, sacred, enlightened work of precision material engineering. Their reason for enticement is not hard to see, so while there are those that would choose to wear one over a standard bra - It would seem they fail to realise that the very presence of bra straps defeats the essence and the sanctity of what makes the tube top so pure.

I'm not saying go bra-less - I fully support the need for support. In fact, I support the cause wholeheartedly, with both hands.

Some would try to trick and deceive by going with clear straps. This will only work if the choice of strap can truly hide the blaspheme. Shiny plastic straps are just no good, they hide nothing, instead merely catching the sun and drawing attention to what does not belong. Sheer clear matte ones have a greater chance of passing the test... but only just, given ideal conditions.

Two other options are immediately evident:

The first would be the strapless bra, another amazing feat of engineering, this time one of the structural discipline.

The second would be a matching bra. If the top is red, then a red bra, if it's purple, go purple, if it's pink with yellow polka dots, etc. etc. This, of course emulates the spaghetti strap top - in itself another great institution which should not be overlooked.

There is, however, one style in this humble author's opinion that trumps above all others:

In a single, elegant stroke it proves its ingenuity in first matching (often exceeding) the allure, and then actually steps further and adds class to the boob tube (astonishing, I know). It then continues by maintaining security while giving literal support in the same sense of sublime simplicity as the spaghetti straps.

I am, of course, referring to the halter-neck top. It's pure art.


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